No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
