Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
