hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Less talking, more tequila
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
