It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
honey bunches of taint.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize