You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
