She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
