So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
