I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
