yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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