is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
