Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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