margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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