i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
