Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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