Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
