i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
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