No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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