Will you blow on my dice?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
