Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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