Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
