Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I intend to get homeless drunk
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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