I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
