is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
