you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
