Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
