the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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