Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
