he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
