Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
