I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
