You really coming over, don't trick.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
