READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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