My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
