the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
