come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
