it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize