I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize