"it" just moved
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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