Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
