Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
