i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize