and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
