You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
