something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
