Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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