i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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