Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
