Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i believe in u and ur pee
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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