come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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