So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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