People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
