READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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