He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
