giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
