I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize