I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
