Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
