after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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