YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
