Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
