the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
