TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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