broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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