Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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