i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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