GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize