I hate all girls vehemently.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
