Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
bring money and cleavage
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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